a (n) (imaginary) conversation with debbie harry and now i know you know.

DB: Now I don't have hard feelings against you. You only did what you had to do.
TRS: Yes I know, and I hope you know. But it's really damn time for me to go, you know.

a (n) (imaginary) conversation with paul mccartney and the end.

PM: Oh yeah, all right.
TRS: And in the end, the love you take, is not necessarily equal to the love you make.

"Oh I'm offended, then you must be wrong."

two o one six

Don't be a whiny pussy! Live it and do!
*to grow one's guts and never give a fuck

insensitive sensitivity, #1.

Being in a fucked up situation, having a fucked up past, does not justify you to fuck up anyone else. Ever. Unless it's the one person who fucked you up in the beginning... :D

*playing: Rocky Raccoon - The Beatles

"supposed former infatuation flunkie"

Recently, in a collaboration project, my illustrations turned out to be terribly disappointing, up to the point where I do not even know if they were eventually accepted or still rejected by the running parties. Perhaps my collaborators are just too disappointed on how I had ruined their works, that they have no more energy to inform me about the final situation.

Lessons learned:

01. It is not possible to treat an illustration project as I would a graphic design project all the time. They expect an illustrator's style as they see in the portfolio, not a graphic designer's solution that might take different ways than what's usually shown in said portfolio.

02. Or maybe I just suck, simple as that :D

03. It has been a valuable experience to remind oneself the importance of self limitation. When you're not sure that you have enough time ideally to create, then for whatever reason, do not take the project. Ever.

04. Regarding qualifications to be worthy for the label of an illustrator, I  clearly am not an illustrator. I just love creating visuals, whether it is in the form of a drawing, a graphic design, whatever. Though honestly, I don't really care of what label I might be given in what I do.

05. In regards of oh holy suckness, it will not stop me to do what I do. I love this shit, whether they love it or hate it. And I will continue to do said shit heartfully, because it makes me happy. As selfish as it can be, I never did it for the sake of world peace :P

In the end, I hope they managed to find a good solution for the project, so that their hard work did not go to waste. For myself, I hope I will manage to be more selective in accepting projects, so that my hard work will not go to waste.

And always, a big thanks for them who had given me their trust to collaborate in many different things :) 

*playing: Thank U - Alanis Morissette

of those pencil nights

Obsession is something to be less feared than human beings and their minds. Because at the end of the day, nobody, nothing, will have enough time and will to keep you { a little } sane { alive }, as much as that one thing you genuinely love to do.

No matter how sinful you know you are. No matter how fucking lame they say you are. Do.

*playing: My Secret Romance - College

"everybody thinks they are right"

Persistence and solipsism may just sometimes get mixed-up.
And a smart tongue is not always the right one.

But before the whole shit, I promise, I'll be looking into a mirror.

*playing: Save A Prayer - Duran Duran

hush hush worldly baby

It's not about not wanting.
Wanting is human.
It's about being aware that you don't need them all.
And to persist in that decision.

*playing: Veridis Quo - Daft Punk

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.11

When you wanna say "fuck", but you don't wanna be rude and censor-type it like "f*ck" or whatever... it's not really any more polite, not really any less anything. You meant the word "fuck" anyways.

So just man up, or woman up, and say what you wanna fucking say.

If you find it too harsh, then don't say it at all.

Fuck.

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.10

No thing, no place, no human being, can bring one such a feeling of peace, as listening to The Beatles all night long.

*playing: ... what else than...

just a feelin'

Unsuspected chaos has introduced miss not-supposed-to-be-trusted-so-much and miss apparently-have-not-been-completely-trusting-all-along.

Unsuspected chaos has introduced miss one-to-be-trusted-in-unsuspected-chaos and miss one-to-not-be-too-unsuspecting-for-chaos.

Unsuspected chaos is not so much unsuspected, and not so much chaotic... once you've been introduced.

:)

*playing: I've Got A Feeling - The Beatles

{ undeniably }

Forgiveness is constant sincerity.
Trust is a one time gainer.

There is no going back.

*playing: She's Dead - Pulp

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.09

You can believe what you believe, you can campaign how life's all beautiful in a pretty candy-sweet sunshiny wonderfulness.

I believe what I believe, that them candy-sweet shit come also with fucked-up killers and blood-spilling calamities.

I believe that I prefer to have them fucked-up calamities acknowledged, not covered with sugar-coated denials.

I believe that by acknowledging them fucked-up calamities does not mean I would declare war to kindness and hope and joy.

I believe that them candy-sweet shit and fucked-up calamity are all part of these chaotic random spins we're all bound to meet. That there is beauty in both.

I believe that in this chaotic randomness, we all have the same chance, same risks, to live, to do what we want, to fight for what we dream of, cos no one's destined to be better or worse than other.

I believe that in better or worse, this freaking life is always worth living for, be grateful for.

You can believe what you believe.

I believe that you've no need to shove your sugar-coated belief down my arse, as I not to you.

And I definitely believe, I've talked too much.

*playing: Sing Your Life - Morrissey

"and talk about the weather"

Frankly, you don't always reap what you fucking sow. Sometimes fucking bunnies come down and fuck with what you've fucking worked on. But in the end it's up to you, whether you're gonna let them fucking bunnies mess with you again, or are you gonna show them not to ever fuck with you, ever again. Unless of course, you have too many fucking whys to live that you can bear almost any bunny fuck and find meaning in each bunny fuck.

This time, I prefer to have them cajun-baked. No offense, Frank.

and not one single fucking soul is not.

{ via Biorama - one of Stefan Sagmeister's "Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far" }

Because even amongst the most self-righteous of them all, I too, am just another mistakenly-thinking-they-are-right wanker.

*playing: Blind - Talking Heads

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.07

And then they said, "You gotta show them your intelligence, choose words that emphasize the impression of it." { I think if it's really there, it'll show itself. No need for strategies. Yes? }

And then they said, " You should learn to be more diplomatic, you should know how to market yourself, so people will like you." { I'm not for sale. They're welcome to agree and detest or not give a fuck as they please. Yes? }

*playing: It's No Good - Depeche Mode

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.06

With these oh so many things to fear, thank you for not forgetting to remind me to not forget to forget them fears for a while, and to not forget to peacefully chew whatever is here to chew for a while.

*playing: La Valse D'Amelie

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.05

I wouldn't want to wait until some fucking doctor tells me I only got seven more days to live before I start living. So get moving, dear ass.

*playing: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths

i could be wrong i could be right, vol.04

These days, and some more again,
are so mind-shattering and heart-slicing.



But eventually, and some more last days again, I know I'll be damn bright again.

*playing: Obladi Oblada - The Beatles